Reasons I dislike Nintendo
Reasons I dislike Nintendo *
As you're all probably well aware the Nintendo Switch is out and along with that came a new Zelda. Since this is a new video game, because let's not forget this is a video game and not say; the second coming of Christ, game critics did their thing and reviewed the game. Zelda has been getting good reviews across the board, one critic (Jim Sterling) gave the game in question a 7 out of 10 (I believe it was a 7.5 however as of writing getting onto his site has proven to be a tad difficult). My point being 7 (or 7.5) is a GOOD score and if you read his review (I skimmed it before his site was DDoSed), oh did I not mention that happened? Cause it did, just to prove how insecure about their favorite games people are. Where was I? Oh, yeah basically Jim actually gave a balanced review and said he actually liked the game but had some issues, much like what a games critic is meant to do. So, I wanted to rant about that but that also made me think about the fact that it's not just Nintendo’s sick in the head playground bully fans are some of the worst I've ever seen, no there are other reasons why I just don't like Nintendo as a whole. Obviously these are just my opinions and I'm not a Sony or Microsoft fan boy, though now I realize people will have already started slamming their hardened dicks off their keyboards in outrage, which by the way is not a good idea it just causes one big mess, I'll just start shall I?
I dislike many of their games
‘Hold on, you really like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon, right?’ Well, yes but the fact I almost typed Stardew Valley instead of both of those titles says it all.
The number one thing I think about with a company who makes games is: Do I like their games? Not if the games are objectively good, but if I personally enjoyed them and for the most part with Nintendo I don't just don't care about their games. And while yes I am kind of interested in the new Zelda I have never enjoyed any of the others. (Of course if you do enjoy their games that's great I wish I could but I'm just so uninterested in them, for the most part). I know the Wii was massive and it had so many games I just didn't play because:
I dislike their consoles
In the games industry you have so many choices of where you can get your fix of games, which means each company has to have their own shit, thus exclusives are born. As I said before I'm not interested in their games, so why would I care about their consoles? Another point is every time they release a new thing it's an old gimmick, mostly motion control. ‘Oh, what about the Wii? The Wii was great.’ Well…
I don't like motion controls
Well, yeah.
I don't like Nintendo's business decisions
Everyone talks about Sony or Microsoft fucking up, however Nintendo is often heralded as this magnum opus of the games industry that often make “Nintendo decisions” but they're fine they're just doing what they think is right. No I honestly believe they are the same as every other company they just want money. For example look at the Switch with a dock that damages the screen, a controller that costs around £60-£70, a game that should have been a pack in (1-2 switch), no pack in games so if you want to actually play that new thing you bought well spell more money and on and on and on. Oh, and that official NES emulator was a fucking travesty.
On another note. I dislike how you can't use any Nintendo screen shots or footage without they putting on their corporate strap-on and proceed to fuck you in the ass, well unless you want to cut a deal and give them money. Cause that makes sense.
Basically, what I'm saying is I don't think Nintendo deserves to be praised as this all loving dungeon master when they are clearly not. That's all I've got really.
Also, that was honestly my longest intro ever, I think. But seriously people need to understand 1-4 is bad 5 is ok 6-10 is good to perfect. At the same time they are arbitrary and worthless because if you enjoy a game then that's all that matters. Unless… Maybe you don't… Maybe there's a doubt; that lingers in the backmost of your mind that eats away every single day. Like an image that is there but when you try to focus on recedes and becomes invisible again, so you stop thinking and just start acting to try and avoid the thing you don't want to face.
*I don't actually hate Nintendo, and I certainly don't want them to fail I just feel that people should call out their bullshit. To help them fix it of course.
That being said; Nintendo gets a 4.5 out of 10.
Joking aside, I'm done bye.
(Obviously no images in this to break up the text cause Nintendo).
Hey I might start promoting on twatter.
I stream too but not right now cause internet innit
When I do eventually stream I normally upload it to this YouTube. Unless I pissing well forget.
Comments
Post a Comment